My son has been brainwashed!

Creatively speaking, its been difficult to find subjects to elaborate on because frankly, I've been burned out with work so blog ideas haven't been exactly free-flowing. Rather then force myself to expound on a topic solely for the purpose saying "I posted something", I decided to take some time off from writing. So I waited....waited....and waited some more for that brand new concept or idea to suddenly appear out of nowhere.

Nothing happened.

Then, as I was playing with my son Nathan earlier this week, a song appeared on the television in the other room loud enough for him to hear. Most of the time, he ignores the TV because he's too involved in trying to torment the dog, gain entrance into the DVD cabinet or banging his Fisher-Price plastic wrench on the closet door in an attempt to tell us that we need to get the vacuum cleaner out so he can try to plug it in the wall.

But this time was different. The song on the TV stopped him in his tracks. He turned around, practically running into the family room to catch a glimpse of what was on the TV. To my surprise, the song was eerily familiar. Where have I heard this before? As I turned the corner, my jaw hit the floor. The character that I swore years ago would never be apart of the life of any future child of mine was brain washing my dear son with his goofy, cheesy, jolly, sing-songy garbage.

You guessed it: BARNEY!

And guess what. Later on that day, Sesame Street was on and that freak Elmo made an appearance dancing around in all his effeminate glory. And sure enough, my son was glued to his every move. What the hell was going on?

Forget Cookie Monster or Grover or Snuffelupagus (incidentally, his first name is Aloysius), Elmo and Barney have lewered my son into the deep, dark, girly, puppet abyss with no way out. As a resul of my stunning discovery, my pool of blogging subject matter has been reduced to this: BARNEY AND ELMO.

Honestly, I have nothing else to add but this: I can't wait for the day when my son snaps out of his hypnotic trance induced by Barney and Elmo. Maybe by then, he will understand that Elmo and Barney are nothing but evil red and purple, furry freaks whose sole purpose in their fictional lives is to torment parents. How I long for that day.

The Killing Frost Appears

After almost 2 weeks of cold weather, we finally had a killing frost (overnight low: 26) last night which abruptly wiped out most of our leftover summer flowers which I never brought inside.

Painting the Bathroom

So the wife and I finally finished painting the bathroom. Correction: she painted 90% and I rerolled two of the four walls after she put the first coat on. Anyway, as much as I like being a participant in picking out colors and other decorating items for the house, the prospect of painting anything makes me nervous and impatient. Now I'm a decent painter but since becoming a father, I've become way too highstrung to stand in one place for what seems like an eternity while developing a touch of carpal tunnel as I repeatedly recreate the scene from The Karade Kid: "Wax on, wax off, Daniel-son."

My wife says that painting relaxes her. She can have it. In retrospect, its a great feeling after the job is done seeing the final masterpiece. But I'd much rather build something like an addition on the house or repave the driveway with an asphault paver than be cooped up in a 4 by 4 bathroom with no ventilation just to spread Sherwin Williams' color number 1357634 otherwise known in Sherwin Williams circles as "Enticing Red." This isn't a box of Crayola Crayons, this is semi-gloss, interior paint. Unless the can comes with a built in sharpener, leave the fancy names behind.

The bathroom painting project took nearly 10 days to complete but now it is done. Ah but the projects have just begun. Finish the dining room, repaint the family room and then the basement. I plan to utilize some power tools in lieu of a brush.

Fall Vacation Pictures

Our trip to upstate New York was great! A bit cool and a brief period of rain but all in all, it couldn't have been better. Our son Nathan now refers to himself as "Nay-Nay".

On the 5 day hiatus from everyday life, my wife and I for one of the first times had a chance to observe him from morning to evening without interruption. It's almost as if his level of comprehension is increasing not at a linear rate (a little bit everyday) but at an accelerated rate. He now knows what the word "weedeater" is and will get your shoes, try to put them on you so you can take him outside to play with it!

Here are a few pictures of all of us.



I couldn't resist showing our flowering tobacco plant from home.

Vacation Pictures Group 2

Vacation Pictures Group 1...Finally

These are about 6 weeks late. Enjoy them nonetheless.

Random Parental Observations

While I enjoy some delicious stir-fry for lunch that my lovely wife made last night (even better as leftovers), I've been pondering what this fall and winter has in store for me being that my son, who is almost 15 months now, has a comprehension list of at least two dozen words. Those words range from "bottle" and "blankie" to "subacromial decompression". Everytime I ask Nathan what part of daddy was operated on last year with a procedure called Subacromial Decompression, he immediately points to my right shoulder. Amazing. By Halloween, he'll be beating mommy and daddy at Scrabble.

His level of comprehension and mobility certainly makes days very entertaining. You can interact with him more than ever before. He even has a favorite baseball bat picked out from my collection which he drags around the house.

But I believe that this fall and winter will be especially enjoyable. I can't wait to jump in piles of leaves in October to a hayride around halloween with my little bruiser. And how will he respond to the first snow? Who knows. Maybe he'll react like me when I was 11 when I tried to shovel the entire backyard in early November because of my immense disdain of frozan precipitation. That's a story for another time.

Nathan is even showing an interest in video games! You know, the basic ones like Tetris and Ms. Pac-Man.

He's also diving head first into mommy's purse no doubt looking to score some cash. Sure, now its coins that strike his fancy. From what I am told, kids' craving for money will only get worse as they get older as the denominations of the dollar they demand become larger.

Do you think my wife will mind if I buy the new Nintendo video game system which comes out on her birthday to "share" with our child?

You know what? Being a parent is and will continue to be the best thing ever!

Where have we gone?

Contrary to popular belief among the blogging world, "eveningwithsabs" is not defunct. The chatrooms are filled with conspiracy theories speculating on the dormancy of our blog. Some claim that we are a secret government department--kind of like Area 51--whose job it is to do covert intelligence operations that will have political and socio-economic implications in third world countries and that Bono is really pissed. A few have even postulated that we have manipulated the universe on the quantum level creating a rift that has changed the alignment of the solar system and that we are responsible for Pluto being kicked out of our local planetary fraternity.

These erroneous rumors, bordering on apocalyptic need to be put to rest with some clarification.
One, we are not in the intelligence business although I'd love a tour of Area 51. (Does Will Smith live there with Tommy Lee Jones?)

We do not, nor does anyone else, have the capability of manipulating the fabric of the quantum world in interstellar space creating rifts that are felt on the planetary scale although that does seem kind of cool.

You know what the REAL reason for our blogging sabbaticle?...our hibernation from communication?

Truth be told, I've been a lazy bastard and frankly too busy!

However.......I now promise to rededicate myself and the rest of the team to produce fun, informative AND entertaining tidbits for you pleasure. The first of which will be later on this week with some badly overdue vacation picture from last month.

There. I got that off of my chest. Happy now?

The Rapid Departure of Summer

I just finished a graphic illustrating the 6th named tropical storm of the season named Florence (which resides in the central Atlantic) when it hit me: Summer is basically over! I'm guessing this thought was coalescing inside my cerebral cortex ever since daytime temperatures fell to a pedestrian 73 with heavy cloud cover but it just took a week or so for it to surface.

Whatever the catalyst, September is here and I'm caught in the middle of being distraught at the loss of daylight and afternoon heat with the relaxing feel of cooler nights and mild days coupled with a fountain of colors spanning the entire spectrum which will soon blanket the leaves (due to the absence of chlorophyll) as autumn begins.

Honestly, I love summer but I love autumn even more. It reminds me of splitting wood with my dad, my mom taking all of kids to ball practice after school, playing football in the backyard in Hudson, the smell of the wet leaves on the ground as we raked them up after an afternoon rain, the Browns when they were good.....you know, the good things about the changing of the seasons.

Now the "not so good" things.....

We've already seen the emmergence of those dark, mid-level clouds on more than one occassion which foreshadows not only prolonged overcast days but yes, the return of lake effect snow.

The road construction on the interstates is either finished of winding down. This in and of itself is great but it also signifies the return of colder weather and eventually salt trucks.

The Indians are almost mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.

The Browns have gone through 57 starting Centers and the season hasn't even begun yet.

So unless someone has invented a method of changing the tilt of the earth on it's axis, the warm of summer will soon be a distant memory the leaves will soon be a sea of brilliant colors and the snow will be flying.

I can't wait!

One Less Planet in the Solar System

Yes, its true. Some dorky, 40-something...well, actually 2,500 dorky, 40-something astronomers from 75 countries who still live in their parents' basement have all of a sudden decided to redefine what a planet is. According to the Associated Press, it concluded a "...tumultuous week of clashing over the essence of the cosmos."

Contemplating the "essence of the cosmos" constitutes a tumultous week? Are they serious?

Heck, a tumultuous week for the other 99% of us working stiffs is getting a speeding ticket followed by a flat tire on the freeway driving home from work after getting chewed out by your boss. Two days later, you kids get sick and by Friday, they've passed on their illness to you just in time for the weekend. That's a tumultuous week. But I digress.

Here is their new definition of a planet:

"A celestial body that is in orbit around the sun, has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a ... nearly round shape, and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit." After "careful" deliberation, these same astronomers have concluded that Pluto is not a planet any more. Instead, it will be classified as a "dwarf planet" similar to astroids and comets.

Guess what? No one really gives a damn.

Look, I am the king of science dorks. I've memorized PI to 75 decimal places, read books on cosmology and in my spare time, I've been known to dable in formulating new ways to express baseball statistics. But herein lies the difference between me and the aforementioned astronomers:

1) I am aware that my interests are on the dorky side. Most of these astronomers are clueless about their level of dorkitude.

2) My wife is hot.

3) I am athletically inclined.

Sure, I am stereotyping a bit but don't tell me that these stereotypes aren't true 90% of the time.

I know, mom always said to respect everyone for who they are. I get that.

I'll even admit, maybe I'm being a bit harsh. But I can tell you this: I won't be redoing my 3rd grade planet project made out of spray painted styrofoam balls taking into account the now defunct planet. Honestly, I don't know if the restructuring of the Solar System is bigger news or knowing that their are more than 2,000 astronomy science geeks who have never kissed a girl.