Saturday, October 28, 2006

My son has been brainwashed!

Creatively speaking, its been difficult to find subjects to elaborate on because frankly, I've been burned out with work so blog ideas haven't been exactly free-flowing. Rather then force myself to expound on a topic solely for the purpose saying "I posted something", I decided to take some time off from writing. So I waited....waited....and waited some more for that brand new concept or idea to suddenly appear out of nowhere.

Nothing happened.

Then, as I was playing with my son Nathan earlier this week, a song appeared on the television in the other room loud enough for him to hear. Most of the time, he ignores the TV because he's too involved in trying to torment the dog, gain entrance into the DVD cabinet or banging his Fisher-Price plastic wrench on the closet door in an attempt to tell us that we need to get the vacuum cleaner out so he can try to plug it in the wall.

But this time was different. The song on the TV stopped him in his tracks. He turned around, practically running into the family room to catch a glimpse of what was on the TV. To my surprise, the song was eerily familiar. Where have I heard this before? As I turned the corner, my jaw hit the floor. The character that I swore years ago would never be apart of the life of any future child of mine was brain washing my dear son with his goofy, cheesy, jolly, sing-songy garbage.

You guessed it: BARNEY!

And guess what. Later on that day, Sesame Street was on and that freak Elmo made an appearance dancing around in all his effeminate glory. And sure enough, my son was glued to his every move. What the hell was going on?

Forget Cookie Monster or Grover or Snuffelupagus (incidentally, his first name is Aloysius), Elmo and Barney have lewered my son into the deep, dark, girly, puppet abyss with no way out. As a resul of my stunning discovery, my pool of blogging subject matter has been reduced to this: BARNEY AND ELMO.

Honestly, I have nothing else to add but this: I can't wait for the day when my son snaps out of his hypnotic trance induced by Barney and Elmo. Maybe by then, he will understand that Elmo and Barney are nothing but evil red and purple, furry freaks whose sole purpose in their fictional lives is to torment parents. How I long for that day.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Killing Frost Appears

After almost 2 weeks of cold weather, we finally had a killing frost (overnight low: 26) last night which abruptly wiped out most of our leftover summer flowers which I never brought inside.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Keith Olbermann Post Revisited

After my posting of Keith Olbermann's comments on 9-11, many faithful followers of Evening With Sabs have voiced their displeasure of the violation of my own Prime Directive which states that I wouldn't get political. In point of fact, no violation was committed. Why? Because we are here to educate and have fun but also to show many sides of an issue even if that issue is controversial. In retrospect, to keep the political pendulum from swinging too far one way or another, a counter commentary from Bill O'Reilly should have been listed following Mr. Olbermann's. For that, I offer my apologizes.

Purely for entertainment purposes, if you REALLY want to know what side of the isle I reside, here are my views on a few hot-button topics:

* Separation of Church and State? Yep. Gotta have it. Remember, as the bill of rights indicates: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..." which means that the federal government is prohibited in supporting a specific religion. If one chooses to be Protestant, go for it. If one chooses to be Jewish, have at it. If you want to worship Seinfeld and recite the summary of every episode verbatum, you'll be labeled a freak but again, you have every right.

* Way back in 1974, the National Maximum Speed Law went into effect that capped all speed limits at 55 mpg. The entire law was finally repealed in 1995 which gave the states power in determining speed limits. Back in 1998, I drove a stretch of road in Montana and the speed limit was "resonable and prudent". I LOVED THAT. Since that experience, I firmly believe that the speed limit should be 80 miles per hour everywhere except in school zones.

* Gay marriage doesn't bother me as long as the chicks are hot.

* I don't believe that all of THIS--the universe in its entirety, from the smallest subatomic particles to the largest galactic cluster and the forces that control them--happened by accident. There are too many mechanisms in nature--cell division, DNA replication via RNA, water being the only molecule that floats as a solid just to name a few--that are too incredibly complex to just say "it just happened randomly". I have no scientific proof of this but let us just say that there are elements of existence that are beyond our comprehension as human beings. Kind of like the debachel that is Cleveland sports. No one understands why they all suck but something must have started the ball rolling.

* The economy: The stock market is going up. The S&P 500 is at the highest level in almost 6 years. Housing is down, Car sales are down. Ford and GM are being restructred. Companies are moving to China and other countries taking American jobs with them. Affordable health care is still a work of fiction and Bin Laden is still hiding under a rock somewhere on the Eurasian continent. I still have a job, a 401K, a house, a kickass lawn mower and a car that has 191,000 miles on it. I have no idea what my kickass lawn mower has to do with any of this but it still tops my list of badass power tools in my garage.

* Violent video games don't cause kids to kill people. These damn Tickle Me Elmo-type stuffed animal toys are the REAL cause of violent tendencies in children. Ever listen to Elmo's voice played backward?

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Painting the Bathroom

So the wife and I finally finished painting the bathroom. Correction: she painted 90% and I rerolled two of the four walls after she put the first coat on. Anyway, as much as I like being a participant in picking out colors and other decorating items for the house, the prospect of painting anything makes me nervous and impatient. Now I'm a decent painter but since becoming a father, I've become way too highstrung to stand in one place for what seems like an eternity while developing a touch of carpal tunnel as I repeatedly recreate the scene from The Karade Kid: "Wax on, wax off, Daniel-son."

My wife says that painting relaxes her. She can have it. In retrospect, its a great feeling after the job is done seeing the final masterpiece. But I'd much rather build something like an addition on the house or repave the driveway with an asphault paver than be cooped up in a 4 by 4 bathroom with no ventilation just to spread Sherwin Williams' color number 1357634 otherwise known in Sherwin Williams circles as "Enticing Red." This isn't a box of Crayola Crayons, this is semi-gloss, interior paint. Unless the can comes with a built in sharpener, leave the fancy names behind.

The bathroom painting project took nearly 10 days to complete but now it is done. Ah but the projects have just begun. Finish the dining room, repaint the family room and then the basement. I plan to utilize some power tools in lieu of a brush.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Fall Vacation Pictures

Our trip to upstate New York was great! A bit cool and a brief period of rain but all in all, it couldn't have been better. Our son Nathan now refers to himself as "Nay-Nay".

On the 5 day hiatus from everyday life, my wife and I for one of the first times had a chance to observe him from morning to evening without interruption. It's almost as if his level of comprehension is increasing not at a linear rate (a little bit everyday) but at an accelerated rate. He now knows what the word "weedeater" is and will get your shoes, try to put them on you so you can take him outside to play with it!

Here are a few pictures of all of us.

I couldn't resist showing our flowering tobacco plant from home.