Thursday, May 03, 2007

Pimped Out Cars...What Not To Do

For the umpteenth time today, I saw yet another car all tricked out with a slick paint job, spinning rims and other stuff. If you want to get your car all decked out, fine. Go for it. I have no problem with it. But for the love of God and all that is holy, don't pimp out your car if you own a Ford Escort, Ford Espire, Chevy Cavalier or a late 80s, early 1990s model minivan.

I have nothing against these fine vehicles...
...wait, yes I do.

There is a reason that you own one of these vehicles and that is you don't have enough money to buy something better. I have nothing against people who might not make enough money for an expensive car. I'm one of these people so I sympathize. So why spend thousands of dollars creating a car straight from a rap video if you don't have the money for a fancy car in the first place?

Besides, pimping out one of these cars just isn't right. After all, who wants to look at ground effects on a Ford Escort? Who wants to look at a Dodge Omni with spinning rims and a modified muffler? Ever notice the owners of these cars as they rumble down the highway? You know they're telling themselves over and over again: "I look bad-ass. I couldn't look any cooler if I tried. Chicks will dig me now". They look as if they actually think their vehicle is the center of the universe and all other drivers should pay homage to their ride knowing that it probably came with an AM Radio standard when it first came off the assembly line.

Look, I know I'm more than a decade removed from college so call me "old school". If you want to get your car pimped out with ground effects and the like, make sure you own something that a, was made after 1997 and b, is not smaller than a riding lawn mower.

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