Friday, July 05, 2013
Hot Dogs and The Law of Diminishing Returns
The basic premise of the Law of Diminishing Returns as it relates to food and drink is this:
You believe that each successive helping of food will replicate the pleasure you experienced with the first helping. You've convinced yourself of this. Nothing will alter your belief. It becomes an absolute. You are hellbent on recreating that euphoria. Nothing will stop you. After you finished eating or drinking any successive helping, disappointment settles in as you realize it didn't taste as good as the first. You question the food. You question yourself saying silently "What am I doing?" That realization hits you hard. You experience a rapid and intense depression.
A mistake was been made. You become hard on yourself and wonder out loud why you continued with that second helping knowing full well that your glutinous behavior would be an exercise in futility. Your confidence returns and you swear you will NEVER make the same mistake again. Yet in the near future, when the same opportunity presents itself, you do exactly the opposite believing that the Law of Diminishing Returns no longer applies. The process repeats endlessly with nothing learned. Don't pretend that this has not happened to you.
This Law applies to these select foods and drinks without fail:
CHEESY POTATOES (ASK MY BROTHER ABOUT THIS ONE)
DESSERTS ONLY FOUND AT FAMILY REUNIONS USUALLY MADE BY A GREAT AUNT YOU ONLY SEE ONCE A YEAR
The inverse of this law applies to these foods:
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
Do you have any foods to add to these lists?