Friday, October 31, 2008

Presidential Hair

Just like many of you, I am tired of seeing advertisements for each candidate. It seems as if the election season will never end. Alas, the end is near and so is the mudslinging.

Forget about who you think will right the economic ship or who will handle our future foreign policy issues in places like Iraq or North Korea or Iran. Forget who you think will create jobs or transform the health care system or who will cut/raise taxes or who will tackle the budget problems.

The real issue should be who has the better hair. McCain is first since he comes first alphabetically.

And now Obama...

Their hair doesn't exactly stand out like Bill Clinton's. In fact, each candidate's hair is quite straight, short and frankly boring.

I say that who ever is president must effort to look like one of these past Vice Presidents who, in my opinion, have the best hair of any President or Vice President in our country's history.

Meet, Levi Morton and John C. Calhoun.

Levi was the VP under Benjamin Harrison and John C. was the VP under John Q. Adams and Andrew Jackson. Its also no coincidence that Calhoun was the first VP to be photographed. His scowl is second to none. Couple that with his 1840s Afro, can you think of anyone that would be more worthy as the first leader of the United States to have his portrait hanging in Washington? Imagine him staring down members of congress or Kim Jong il at a summit?

His stances on issues were not the greatest. He was a supporter of Slavery and an inspiration to the secessionists who created the short-term Confederate States of America. He also thought that the Indians were inferior. By far, one of the worst politicans in our history but his hair is second to none.

Not to be outdone, Levi Morton has the coolest beard of any politician up until that point and since. If anything, that's one hell of a "flavor-saver"'.

Who ever the next president is, he should effort to look like on of these guys or a combo of the two. Not only will the members of Congress get bills passed quicker if they are looking at an 1840s "fro" but the ruthless dictators throughout the world will bow down in fear. I ts a one-two punch that's a win-win.

So Barack and John, please consider my suggestion.


An American Citizen Who Values Hair