Remembering 10 cent Beer Night at Cleveland Stadium

It was on that fateful night on June 4, 1974 when the geniuses in the Cleveland Indians Promotional Department decided that dime beer night with no limit was a good idea. A guy I work with was there as a kid but left before the riot ensued. After players were hit with chairs, batteries and anything else that wasn't bolted down, the umpires finally called the game.

Read a great narrative of the night on Page 2 of espn.com.

10 CENT BEER NIGHT STORY

These pictures from the Cleveland Plain Dealer are priceless.

The guy in the middle is pretty imtimidating with those glasses.

I think I saw this guy tailgating at a Browns game.

Cleaning Out the Basement...

I've had this box of old toys and other miscellaneous stuff from my childhood which I've been pressured to go through to eliminate the "clutter" in the corner. Here is what I found:

Knight Rider Stomper 4x4

A Few Atari Catalogs from 1982

The Instruction Booklet from Yars Revenge

Chuck Norris as VP?

Can you see it?



Chuck Norris as VP?



Now that Mike Huckabee won the Iowa caucuses on the republican side, many are wondering, IF Huckabee wins the GOP nomination, would Chuck Norris become the VP running mate? (Maybe not many...well, in fact just me and a few people at work...)



Regardless, I say go for it, Mike!



I'm not endorsing Mike Huckabee in any way, I'm just posing a HUGE WHAT-IF...



I guarantee you this, If Chuck Norris became VP, several things would happen overnight:



* Every US citizen would be required to learn the roundhouse kick

* Flannel would become popular

* Beards would become the norm again

* Instead of the State of the Union Address in January, all of the networks would play Mission in Action and Delta Force back to back.


* Lastly, at the UN, instead of an ambassator, we would put a huge life-size cutout of Chuck Norris in the chair normally occupied by the ambassator. The cutout would look like this:

What Happened to Tom Bosley?

I ask this not to make fun of his age or his appearance but seriously, what happened to him?

The last time I saw him a few years ago, he was doing infomercials for some company. But evidentally, he must have aged 20 years since then because he's not looking so good. We here at Evening With Sabs hope all is right with Mr. Bosley.

Compare him to Rutger Hauer and Tom seems healthy.

Holiday Wishlist from 1982

We all have a wishlist for the holidays. Maybe an I-POD or some wi-fi device or maybe a plasma tv or clothes or something of that ilk.


Maybe the catalog from your favorite store just doesn't list what you want. If that's the case, then you might want to try this.


A friend of mine found this person's flickr site which shows pages from the 1982 Sears Catalog...





ALL 600+ OF THEM!


Check out the price of this piece of cutting edge technology above.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/wishbook/sets/72157594229749541/




I don't know what's worse. The fact that someone actually spent the time scanning in 600 pages of a 25 year old Sears catalog or that I found it fascinating enough click through it to pick my favorites.

Evening With Sabs Two Year Anniversary Post

On Saturday, all of us at Evening With Sabs celebrated our second anniversary on World Wide Web.

Never did I expect this website to garner such a following. My ultimate goal is to make some money with the site. As of this writing, our gross income from is endeavor a paltry ZERO.

Wait. I think we got some free potato salad last summer. That counts....sort of.

At last check in our two years of existence, we referenced Barry Bonds, the late Victor French, Ernest Borgnine and John Stamos. Yet, our audit shows no mention of Wilfred Brimley. You can bet your brand-spanking new diabetes testing supply kit that this will soon change in year three.

Happy Birthday!

My Summer Wishlist

Since child number two is on the way late this fall, time will become more of a scarce commodity than it is now with a two year old flying around the house with a washable marker in one hand and a pretzel in the other.

Back in early 2005 prior to my son's birth, I made a wish list of things I wanted to do before I became a parent. You know, basic activities like reading 10 books or install an attic ladder or wire the upstairs bedrooms with cable. I actually did all of those. Scary thought isn't it?

This summer, my list is not as outrageous as my first one back in '05 but as with most of my projects, the list is a tall order considering my lack of disposable hours in the day. Here we go:

1. Finish installing the basketball hoop in the driveway.

Even my wife wants this done yesterday. Its been an ongoing event since early May. The quikrete is in the garage. I think this is going to suck.

2. Reinforce the poles on the deck.

Sounds like an engineer is needed here. Nope. Just time to cut a bunch of 4X4 wedges and screw them into the deck. Where is Bob Vila? Does he still have that Saturday morning show?

3. Transfer all of the video I took of my son over the last two years onto my hard drive, edit it and make a DVD.

Um. If my past history of procrastination is any indication, this won't come anywhere close to happening. Okay, maybe dumping the video on the computer is a more realistic goal as long as my two year old doesn't sneak into the computer room and hit the reset button on the computer tower.

4. Finish reading three books. A baseball statistic book, a book on the origins of the Vietnam War by the late David Halberstam and a book on the origins of language.

...Sounds like a evening full of fun, I know. Don't laugh. This is more time consuming than it seems on the surface for three reasons. One, I'm not the fastest reader. Two, these books aren't considered "quick reads". Three, now that I am working a early morning shift, I might have 15 minutes before bed to hammer out a few pages. At this rate, these books will collect more dust in the den than on my nightstand.

5. Watch these movies.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Transformers
The Bourne Ultimatum
Oceans 13
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Live Free or Die Hard
Evan Almighty
Fantastic Four
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Shrek the Third

A few of these came out a few years ago. I realize that. Anyway, look for a synopsis as I finish each of these.


On a semi-unrelated note, the first still photo of the new Indiana Jones movie is out. It tells us absolutely nothing.

RUSH's New Album

Although it won't be officially released until May 1st, Rush's new album Snakes and Arrows was leaked onto the web late last week. Since then, I have listened to the entire album three times. Now, contrary to my wife's contention that Rush is all I listen to, the relatively new song by the group Breaking Benjamin called Breath is quite awesome and rightly deserves to be near the top of the rock charts where it has been for many weeks... but I digress.

This new Rush album, Snakes and Arrows, has alot of music on it, almost 63 minutes worth. You'll notice right from the beginning "old school" Rush elements that put the band on the map 30 years ago but also has a conspicuously modern feel which Rush or any band needs to stay competitive in 2007. et this album features songs with multiple movements as in the case with Track 2: Armor and Sword. This song is more than 6 minutes long but it stays fresh with all its complexity and bold feel. The first track, Far Cry, which has been close to the top of the charts for almost a month is probably harder than track 2. It gets your attention with a strong beginning and bold ending. Some of the middle tracks offer a bluesy feel in parts while changing back to a classical rock dynamic.

For the first time in 18 studio albums, Snakes and Arrows features 3 instrumentals. The first titled The Main Monkey Business doesn't disspoint. It's hard rock, classic rock and acoustic elements compliment each other quite well. The second titled Hope is a short jam session between Alex Lifeson and getty Lee. The third, track 12, called Malignant Narcissism is quick--a little over 2 minutes--but powerful. The bass riffs and tom-tom solos for a measure or two stand out toward the end.

Overall, I'd recommend Tracks 1, 2, 6, 9, 10 and 12. Tracks 6 and 12 being instrumentals.

Expanding My Interests

For those of you who don't know, I used to play the drums. Yes, its been a while, quite a while in fact. But over the last couple of years, I've been rekindling my interest in playing. So, through relearning the basic rudiments with a drum book that I've had since I was a kid, it's slowly coming back to me. Not that I was all that good to begin with but what I had way back when is coming back...slowly but surely.

I found some really cool videos on YouTube showing the best drummer (in my opinion) of all time: BUDDY RICH. Even if you're not a drum fan, they're pretty mind blowing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bIchqJoxFQ

Milestone News As Promised

Back in the 70s and 80s, you rarely heard of people driving cars with much more than 100,000 miles. Nowadays, its fairly common. The new watermark of high mileage is now 200,000 or better.

Yesterday, on February 22, 2007 at 3:13PM, my 1997 Pontiac Grand AM just eclipsed the 200,000 mile barrier! And let me tell you, it was every bit exciting as you would think. To be honest, this narrative really won't do the experience justice. So I'll do my best in chronicling the minute of so leading up to the apex of odometer longevity.

The last 20 miles or so as I watched the odometer roll as I thundered down the interstate were filled with anticipation. So much so you could cut it with a knife it was so thick...

...199,983. A quick exercise in mental math revealed that I had 17 miles to go. I continued unabated at 68 miles per hour in a northeasterly direction to work.

...199,992. Traffic density started to increase as a few other interstates converged at my location. If this increase in traffic continues, I thought, I'll have a veery difficult time pulling over to take a picture of the odometer if the "big roll" occurs. 199,995....I trudge on.

...199,997. Only three miles to work and coincidentally, only three miles to the promised land. Will I have to drive a few laps around the parking lot to finish the job or will it have to wait until my trip home?

...199,999.0. I'm at the stop light right around the corner to work. This is going to be close...

...199,999.8. Should I try for the parking lot or should I wait? ehhhhh....crap. I quickly make a sudden change in my trip and veer down another a less traveled street to increase my chances at finding a spot along the side of the street so I could snap a picture of the odometer

...199,999.9. Stop light turned red. Damn. The anticipation is killing me.....there go the digits....slowly. Speed: 27 miles per hour.

...199,999.995. Okay, so odometers don't have two or three decimal digits but if they did, I would have had something to document during that 0.005 miles of road.

...200,000 FINALLY!!! The milestone was reached. I felt the power. It was the greatest natural high one can achieve legally.

As all the numbers finished their tumble, I paused briefly to reflect what me and wife have been through in our travels since the Grand AM's purchase. I put'er into gear and finished my trip to work. The next milestone: 225,000.

Our 100th Post

After roughly 15 months on the World Wide Web, all of us at Evening With Sabs now present our 100th posting. For parts of this post, I will try my hand at the ever-popular literary device:
FORESHADOWING. I hope this doesn't suck.

So I went to a Mardi Gras party over the weekend.

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not Mr. Party-Guy but I do like to throw a few back and relax while talking about random topics ranging from the weather to American foreign policy.At the risk of someone reading this who was present at the party, I'm about to make an observation that is as esoteric as it is ambiguous.

For the very first time in my life, I have observed the strangest amalgam of person ever. There, at that party stood the exact cross between Edward James Olmos and Cousin Itt. Granted, others probably exist in the world but none as grizzled and as...well hairy. If you know who either of these famous individuals are then I need not go any further.

-----------------------------------------

Other random bits:

I nearly finished painting the basement on Sunday. That, in and of itself, isn't a big deal. But when you consider that on Saturday, I felt as if I was drugged into a state of ultimate lethargy due to exhaustion, painting a straight line was a feat analogous to walking a tightrope.

Baseball season is officially here. All players are now at spring training in either Arizona or Florida and I still have 16 inches of snow in my backyard.

On Thursday, a milestone will be reached that many wish to achieve someday and only a select few actually experience in their lifetime. More on this Friday or Saturday.

Nathan Working With Tools

The ultimate measure of a man (or boy in this case) is how many tools he has and whether or not he knows how to use them. My son is learning fast how to act manly. These pictures (along with a few random ones) tell the story brilliantly.

Disclaimer: We here at Evening With Sabs DO NOT endorse or promote underage drinking.

Drywall and an 18 Month Old

Would you watch a movie titled: "Drywall and an 18 month old"?

Stay tuned for the big release of these never-before seens stills of this epic flick.

Plus, some bonus pictures featuring said toddler hauling lumber.

Ernest Borgnine turns 90

Another great, grizzled, veteran actor has made it to 90. Yes, its Ernest Borgnine--or Ernie as his friends call him. Even though the website imdb.com states his birth year as 1915, I'll go with Ernie himself who says he was born in 1917 not 1915.

Although he is almost triple my age, I remember his role as Dominic Santini. The fiery, bullheaded co-pilot of a top-secret government helicopter in the 80s smash hit Airwolf. Although Jan Michael Vincent, the show's grossly overpaid main character typically stole the spotlight, it was Mr. Borgnine that added that sprinkle of spice that made the show what it was. Either that or his shiny, blue windbreaker he wore throughout the series.

Here's to you, Mr. Borgnine on turning 90.

The Second Coming of Clark Griswold

Once I saw the movie Christmas Vacation, I realized why I was put on this earth. My reason for being became obvious. Someday when I own a house, I thought, my ultimate goal will be to have the biggest and brightest holiday lighting display in the entire neighborhood.

Now that I am a home owner, each year on the day after Thanksgiving, my plan to take over the electricial grid begins to take shape. It began with a marathon think-tank session in the basement drafting out every possible contingency. Temperature, wind, rain, snow, nosey neighbors, dead lights, bad extension cords, they were all accounted for at least in theory. After ten hours in the basement racking my brains out, I emerged and proclaimed to all that would listen that I had the ultimate plan! The lovely Mrs. Sabs' response to my declaration: A stare. You know, the stare that screams "Are you a freak?" It didn't matter. The 2006 Christmas lighting display plan was ready. Today was the day that my ultimate Christmas lighting display plan was executed. And I must say that it all went according to plan. Mrs. Sabs reluctantly gave me props for a job well done. Who's the man.

Clark Griswold I am not...at least not yet. But with three solid years of Christmas lighting experience under my belt, I've learned a few things:

1) Check all of the lights BEFORE you hang them. Seems like a no brainer but trust me, it never fails. Each year, a neighbor hangs them all without testing them and nothing works. Then I hear a volley of expletives between him and his wife blaming the other for the faulty lights. While this makes for great entertainment, it will happen to you and your significant other if you don't plug them in FIRST.

2) Mark the strands with labels.

Again, it makes perfect sense. However, when you're tearing it all down after the first of the year, you'll try to convince yourself that you'll remember where they'll all go next year. In reality, by January 10th, you'll forget that you even have Christmas lights. So put labels on your lights!

3) Forget about wrapping lights neatly.

What the hell are you talking about? Trust me. Neatly coiling up the lights before putting them away might seem like a good idea in an attempt at preventing chaos the following year but it does no good. For some unknown reason, the Christmas lights all snuggled away in the attic undergo a metamorphosis changing them from their perfectly tidey state into the poster child for ultimate chaos over the span of a summer. November rolls around and you open the box stored in the attic and the neatly bundled lights are now a clump of green wires all balled up in total disarray. There is no stopping it. Just throw them in a box and be done with it.

4) Draw a detailed diagram of your layout.

If you need graph paper to do this, borrow some from your kids. Make sure the labels on your lights are identified in the diagram. Maybe buy some colored pencils of markers. Color is good.

5) Add more fuses.

If you plan to add more lights each year, you need to add a dedicated fuse or ten. Its all about the power, baby!

Good Luck!

The Nissan One Year Retrospective

Today is a very tough day for me. It marks the first anniversary of a tragic loss . Since that fateful day back on November 14, 2005, the emptiness inside me still lingers. The grieving process has been a long and painful road with many setbacks along the way. Each day brings its own set of challenges as I learn to live without this member of the family. What could this insurmountable loss be that has my emotions in a knot?

.....oh boy, this is very difficult....

...sigh...

...Just one short year ago, my very first vehicle I ever purchased--a 1990 Nissan 240SX--was hauled away to the junkyard. A long life of service spanning almost 16 years, 31 states and 158,000 miles (81,000 miles of which were mine--my brother put on the remaining 15K) was cut short by a delinquent female driver who sideswiped the front end inflicting damage that was too costly to repair.

The significance of today has hung over my head like a trip to the dentist because until this day, I couldn't decide on a proper memorial to fit this fine machine and its years of service. Rather than list her long list of battles won from The Badlands of South Dakota to the deserts of Arizona to the hills of West Virginia to flooded roads in Georgia, here are a few pictures of the "SX" in all her glory.



She was as sleek as a Ferrari and as solid as a LIncoln. She handled the different roads in her travels with a gentle touch yet with reckless abandon that made it a joy to pilot. It didn't matter whether it was volcanic ash or sand, the Nissan would glide through it all.

The curious side of me often wonders what happened to her. Is she in a far off junkyard disassembled down to the frame forever sealed in a rusted out crypt? Or did someone see a glimmer of potential in the Nissan and rescue her in the hope to give the SX another lease on life? Honestly, there have been times where I've come really close to looking up her VIN number online to confirm my spectulations.

Today, the Nissan's wheel covers and license plate hangs in my garage as a rememberance of her service. Please take a moment and add some fuel injector cleaner to your ride or maybe get it washed as a tribute to your vehicle and what it means.

Send cards in lieu of flowers.

A Legend Passes...

Legendary actor Jack Palance has passed away. He was 87. But since our friends at colonelt.com beat us to the punch in putting together a memorial, I will now point you to that very site for a great memorial to one of the toughest men EVER. Please, ignore the shirtless Gil Girard portion of the montage.

VOTE for the manliest actor ALIVE!

Let's make one thing clear. I'm not gay. Not that being gay is a bad thing but including a poll question like this one necessitates this type of disclaimer. With that out of the way, I encourage all of you to cast your VOTE in my incredibly scientific poll for the MANLIEST ACTOR ALIVE at the top of the blog. After all, being a man means trying to find ways to become more manly. I am sure many of you use some of these actors as THE bench mark for manliest in your quest for ultimate manliness. Then again, maybe not but humor me. The criteria for this list is as follows:

* 20 or more MOVIES/TV ShOWS

* Must be 35 YEARS OLD

* You must be ALIVE

Some notibles that are not eligible (mostly due to their deaths) are:

Charles Bronson - Death Wish movies
Jack Lord - Hawaii Five-O
John Wayne - You know, that western guy...maybe you've heard of him
Lee Marvin - Known for his role in "The Dirty Dozen"
Vin Diesel - Not enough movies yet
Steve McQueen - Popular actor with the ladies in the 60s and 70s
James Coburn - Another western guy
Lorne Greene - main character in the tv show "Bonanza"
James Dean - Popular actor in the 50s
James Cagney - One of the best actors of all time - Tough guy from the 1930s.
Marlon Brando - Widely accepted as the best actor EVER!
Vincent Price - Horror movie actor (voice was in the Michael Jackson song "Thriller"
Humphrey Bogart - Top 10 great from the 1940s and Bugs Bunny cartoons
Bill Bixby - Main character in the show "The Incredible Hulk" and "My Favorite Martian" and a host of others
Bergess Meredith - Played the Pengiun in the original "Batman" tv show as well as Mickey Goldmill in Rocky

Last Few Weeks of Freedom - ColonelT.com

* CORRECTION TO ELIMINATE THE WORD "CATACLYSMIC" AS PER THE REQUEST OF MY LOVELY WIFE *

My esteemed colleague over at colonelt.com in his last entry quantified his feelings four weeks from parenthood. To paraphrase him:

"....95% excited and 5% terror beyond imagination."

I can certainly understand his mindset being somewhat torn between two emotions that are diametrically opposed to one another. Its only natural. While most couples who are expecting one child naturally fear the unknown territory of being a parent, he and his wife are expecting not just one baby but twins--yes, TWINS!

Like the laws of physics when you work back to the start of the universe, my parental knowledge and experience at this point breaks down and is no longer valid. Why? Simple, I have just one child.

When my child was about a month out, I told my wife that our son would graduate from high school in 2024! Talk about putting things into perspective. Here we were sorting out baby clothes and I was already stressing about how to pay for the kid's college education. I would guess that the emotions "The Colonel" is going through are magnified since multiple babies are expected.

Without a multiple baby experience to draw from, maybe some statistics might paint a clearer picture of what the Colonel is going through. According to the United States Census conduction in 2000, only three percent of birth were twins. The chances go up to a robust four percent over the age of 30. That's 118,916 births.

Ahhh. Clarity through numbers.

In other words, the colonel---oops, my bad, "The Colonel" and his lovely wife are in very special company.

As a longtime friend going back to the late 70s, I feel some great need to coach him over the next four weeks until the big day. But alas, I need to take a step back. The Colonel is a smart man and he will sort out his amalgam of emotions in due time. He's probably painted the baby's room, assembled the crib and installed a plasma screen near the diaper changing station for Baby Einstein viewing. For all the preparation involved, nothing will really "prepare" him for what lies ahead. Still, I can't resist at pointing out a few changes that WILL occur after birth:

1. Neurotic behavior by both father and mother will become increasingly conspicuous to neighbors and family members. As much as they tell you everything will be fine, you shun their words and continue to act as if every movement or action will do irreparable harm if not done with utmost precision .

2. Forget about rest, you will not sleep for 5 months

3. Video game entertainment will also cease for at least 5 months...maybe longer depending on whether or not the baby(s) like to watch while you play

4. Current events will seem the furthest thing from your mind. As long as the power doesn't go out, you won't care about staying informed

5. Finally, time will stand still. See my entry on the speed of time


Anyway, the best of luck to you and your wife, Colonel. That 5% terror you spoke of will slowly go down but not until 2016.

BEARDS: The measure of a man

Recently, I had a three day weekend to tackle my television memoirs. I woke up on my first day off, drank 12 ounces of water (one must be hydrated), jumped in the shower when an otherwise unimportant mental manifestation surfaced with the ferocity of a nuclear blast:

I didn't need to shave!

Forget the morning coffee or a homemade country breakfast to stimulate your groggy senses. The realization that you can display a days growth of facial hair without having the cataclysmic repercussions you would normally encounter at work is one of the most exhilarating epiphanies one can experience early in the morning on a day off.

Throughout the day, the scruffiness of my days growth became empowering. I felt like changing the oil on the car. I wanted to build an addition on my workbench along with finding random uses for my cordless drill. I felt like challenging people at the grocery store to feats of strength. My facial hair was even brainwashing me into thinking that I could hold up the front end of my car up with my bare hands WHILE changing the oil! In essence, my facial hair increased my adrenaline output and my level of stupidity. If it weren't for my wife strongly suggesting that I refrain from these activities or my day would revolve around cleaning our bathrooms, my adrenaline overdrive would have caused serious injury. This, keep in mind, is all due to facial hair.

Since my overzealous, adrenaline laced body was checked at the door by my lovely wife always looking out for my well-being, I never tackled the projects that I set out to do that day while on my facial hair high. But I did have a chance to reminisce about facial hair days gone by. One specific instance was back in 1995 during my last year of college.

Several friends along with myself were studying for a calculus test (how dorky is that) and--for reasons still unknown--the conversation shifted from integrals and complex equations to beards within a few minutes. Actually, it was more of a switch to topics that were only partially related to manly activities but within those minutes, the focus evolved to straight up, manly things. Eventually, as all manly conversations go, the topic drove headstrong right into beard territory. Once your there, you cannot back out. The friendly discussion morphed into a heated exchange and then to a challenge. We all agreed to grow beards for a period of weeks after which we would have an impartial party judge to see who has the best beard. Needless to say, I won!

After the two weeks elapsed and the contest was over, I realized that each man's beard was distinctly different not because of color but in thickness or density.
This, in my opinion, is directly correlated to his manliness. Since I won the contest, I figured I was more manly than the others ( I was biased) so it was up to me to explore this relationship further. After all, I owed my results to all manly men who won beard growing contests.

But first, I needed a scientific term.

Also, how could beard density be quantified?

Since my background is in meteorology, I took a weather-type term and changed a bit to describe what I needed. In weather, an isobar is a line of equal pressure. So, I thought, the lines showing equal beard density should be appropriately named: ISOBEARD

So I drew a picture of a face (circa 1995) illustrating where the beard is the thickest using these brandnew ISOBEARD lines.

Notice that the facial hair in this example is the thickness or the most dense around the chin and near the ear. The beard is the least dense in the mustache region and near the cheek bone. Also, NEGATIVE ZONES or areas where the beard doesn't occur (below the lower lip and to the left and right of the mouth) become very visible using this technique. While these negative zones make the beard look trim, it is a detriment to possess too many NEGATIVE ZONES as it dilutes ones manliness

What does this map tell us? Simple really. If a person's ISOBEARD MAP has lines that are far apart then, by definition, he is not as manly because he doesn't have a thick beard. If, however, a person's ISOBEARD MAP has lines that are concentrated throughout then his manliness is much greater because he has a thick beard.

Since then, I have created ISOBEARD MAPS for many people (with their permissiion) using this technique as a tool to determine the person's manliness. Of course, God created all of us to be unique in our own way. However, if God created us with the same level of manliness then I wouldn't be here determining a way to quantify it because we'd all be the same. Basically, some of us have more manly uniquenesses than others. That's what the ISOBEARD MAP TECHNIQUE shown in the picture above was designed to find out.

So draw an ISOBEARD MAP of your own beard using the picture above as a template and see where you come out. Don't give up if the outcome isn't what you hoped for. If at all possible over a few days off, try to let your beard go for a bit longer and see if the results get more precise.

If you think this technique is faulty, remember this: Does Clint Eastwood have a thick beard when he chooses to grow one? Does Arnold Schwarzenegger have a weak beard why he's sported facial hair? Does Chuck Norris have a beard that's spotty? Exactly.